Homeless Signs

The homeless in Vancouver are among the best marketers I have come across in a long time. Here is a collection of cardboard signs I have seen held up asking for help this week:

Too lazy to work, too ugly for prostitution. An approach that makes people look at their faces and sees they aren't ugly so they'd better give money so the person doesn't get caught in the sex trade.
Battle of the sexes, who gives more? He then had two boxes set up and gave a running today of who was in the lead. When I walked past I was surprised to learn the men were up by $1.45.
If you feel like giving, make a second lunch to pass along. This one plays off knowing you have too much food and it wouldn't cost too much to put together a second meal.
Smile if you masturbate. Gets people's attention.
Spare change for weed and beer. Weed and beer are a Vancouver staple that locals wouldn't want anyone to be without.