Korean Funerals

My friend Sunny (she opened the school with J in Suji) had her father pass away last Friday. He had been sick for quite a few months and finally lost his battle to cancer (I believe). In Korea there are three days of mourning that follow a death. Family members, friends and coworkers of any of the immediate family should make time to pay their regards.

So on Saturday afternoon Saejin and I made our way to the hospital and it's special funeral home wing to pay our respect. As we walked in the door we were greeted by a huge screen that looked more at home in an airport. The information passed on here listed the name of the deceased, their room number along with the names of the immediate family. Saejin quickly made a note of the room and we then found an envelope to put some money in for the family. The marbled interior of this building soften the mood while a hushed silence of people flowed down the staircase to their appropriate rooms.

Black suits were wandering everywhere but you could identify the immediate family of all the deceased by the white arm bands they wore. J was busy working (it's up to friends and coworkers to help out at funerals) collecting the money and having people sign the book of condolences. She then instructed us to go into the room and place a white daisy on the casket, then bow and pray for Sunny's father. After our moment of silence we had to turn and bow any of the family members who were then in the room. It was hard not not feel anything but sadness as his sons standing at attention silently wept.

Once we left the room we made our way directly across the hall to an area where the mourners go to talk. Here we saw Sunny and passed on our sympathy. In Korean fashion she offered us food and drink (booze being a main staple) and sat us down at an empty table. After she left us we sat on the floor picking at the food ultimately trying to not act overly awkwardly. In total we were there for maybe thirty minutes and it was completely exhausting dealing with the weight of emotions people were carrying. I'm not sure how Korean family's cope with it. This was only the second day with a full one more to go.