The Rhino

Yesterday morning the weather was crispier than the breakfast cereal itself, which made waking up a person battle and left me running late for work. To get to the bus stop, I have a minor hill to climb and set off at a brisk pace up it. As my head popped up over the ridge I saw a man carrying 90 percent of his weight in his chest, arms and head suddenly start barreling toward me. His eyes made it clear that I was in his way.

Like any yellow belted taekwondo master would do, I froze in my place and made a confused/surprised/disgusted face. The sole thought that came to me was that soon I was going to be the victim of a senseless, random act of violence. Luckily for me this hulk of a man was charging to make it down the hill and across the street before the green man in the box stopped blinking. I turned to watch (my defensive turtling position left me facing that way) and felt a lot better when I saw that The Rhino failed to make the light.

Open Class

When I got out of the for profit school system and into the more relaxed public system I thought that open classes were done with. An open class before meant parents sat in the class and we are told to run a class with the parents participating along side of their kid. It's purely for show where both kids and teacher's wear their nicer clothes and run through the same lesson we have been practicing all week. Basically, it's a rehearsed skit where you show off the kid's skills. This allows parents to make up their mind if their (big) money is being well spent.

Now, an open class means all the other English teacher's in the city (both Korean and Westerners-there are now four of us- they need three more so let me know if you want a job) come to the class and observe. We then sit around and dissect the class saying what's good and bad about it.

Yesterday I had my open class and things went better than I was expecting. It actually went perfectly. My grade six class is a hit and miss type class. Sometimes they are great and other days I want to rip certain kid's heads off and play a match of football with it. But they had promised to be excellent for the class and were. The other teachers wanted to know how I controlled the kids so well and I had to tell them the truth that I had threatened the kids for a week leading up to the class. So like all open classes it wasn't even close to being a natural setting.

Hong Kong Films

Saejin and I went to watch The Departed yesterday and I loved it. Three of the four main stars in the movie are my favorite actors and I'd heard about the Hong Kong version which I wanted to see so there was little chance of my not liking the film. Like usual, I screamed out loud like a girl whose been run over by a car and squirmed in my seat trying to escape the tense or gorry moments. After the film Saejin asked me to try and control myself in the theatre but it's impossible. When I watch at home I have no troubles getting through a movie without much movement but in the theatre I get freaked out.

That's why I love going to the movies so much. Besides in Korea it's still affordable and convenient. The tickets were just over seven dollars each and my large coke (the small size back home) cost a mere 2 bucks. We pre-bought the tickets on-line and picked out exactly where we wanted to sit (all seats are assigned). For even more ease, and because I don't use credit cards, I was able to charge the tickets to my cellphone bill.

Red Hot!

I love the Flames but it's because of the teams from the late 80s and early 90s that I'm still a fan. This video captures the team perfectly.

Leaping Lizards!

Heidi passed on a cute story about Nicole's daughter Olivia quoting lines from movies. One line she pulled out of the blue was about a "No dog zone." Nicole later pieced it together that it was from the movie Annie. I hadn't seen that movie since we lived in Montreal and went to find it on the Internet. Two hours later it was mine and on Tuesday I made my way through it. It wasn't as good as I remembered it being but it also wasn't as bad as I was half expecting.

The other movie I downloaded was very different. I had heard about Jesus Camp a long time ago and then when Shelly mentioned downloading it I went to check it out. I was stunned by what I saw. This documentary is about Evangelical Christians who target children to make them good Christian soldiers who must take back America (from the powerful gays and friends lobby who think global warming is real.)

What I didn't like was that their summer camp was held in Devil's Lake, N.D. which is a city I have been to many, many times. It was freightning, especially when they shook their bodies with God's blessings over everything in their path including the computer, it's PowerPoint program and all the wires that were too slow to run away in fear. It was a sad, sad moment. (Devil's Lake, like the rest of North Dakota is very Christian but the people in the movie do not reflect them all. These are the ones that give regular Christians a bad name.) Kind of like the appearance by the now famous Ted Haggard who looks and speaks as creepily and falsely as always.

Want some?

I stole this from Yeolchae's website that is full of amazing pictures and good pieces of news that relate to Korea.

Birthday Bash

Saturday Night we all got together for both Rachel Lynn and Heidi's birthdays. (It's the law in Korea for girls posing for pictures around flowers to blend in with the things, nobody chooses that look.) We went to an Italian restaurant we frequent when we want to class it up. This restaurant is quite posh and has been the setting for numerous local dramas as the place men take their wives to when they've screwed up. We like this place because the food is amazing and it's one of the few places in Korea where you can bring your own wine. The usual gang was there:


Rachel Lynn, Joel and Nara.


Saejin, Shelly and I.


Heidi and her new boyfriend Min who flew in from the States just for her bday. (Before thinking he's perfect he does have a flaw. He's a young republican and I remind him (or annoy him) about this each time I see him.)

We had a great meal and tried to keep the classy levels going strong but when we noticed a wall of empty wine bottles separating the two sides of the table, it was too late. Out came the gifts which I had to wrap in tin foil because I was running late. I gave RL back a picture she and Jes stole from a bar a month ago which somehow ended up in my bag. They promised to return it later this week.




The next gift I gave to Heidi and is a portrait some college student did of her and RL a few years ago in Itaewon. The girls thought that the thing had vanished but again it mysteriously ended up in my bag at the end of the night. I quickly passed it on to Saejin because the thing was so ugly. I met him in his office before the party and we decided it was time to give the ugly thing back as a birthday tribute.

My Son Has Problems

A week ago the kids here were driving me mad. They still have their moments but are trying a lot harder of late. One kid in particular, Song Jin spent most of last week out in the hall. Wednesday he was in class for all of two minutes before I quickly guided him back out and down to his teacher because I'd had enough of him. The teacher must of called his mom because the teacher told me she just learnt that Song Jin suffers from one of those medical abbreviations educators, parents and doctors love to label inattentive kids with. (Adults get to have selective hearing but kids have a disease.)


Yesterday afternoon, the mom visited our school pushing Song Jin into my classroom and following him in with a giant gift weighing her down. She then went on speaking the fastest Korean I have ever heard. This is what I understood before she hit her fastest cruising speed. "Hello, I'm Song Jin's mother and I'm sorry I can't speak English. I just want to appologize for Song Jin. He likes to study English, ^%%^ ^I)(& %#!! *)(*&% (*())*%^#! (*()*)_&*^%$ )&**^#@% *&^||!%&*,.>,< Song Jin #$%^%$ A.D.D. Thank you very much. Say your sorry. Bye." She then pointed to Song Jin who apologized and they left, leaving a gift sitting next to my desk.


I would of struggled picking it up last week but because I've been working out this week I was able to hoist it up onto my desk with ease. Once I knew she was far enough away I opened it and found a huge replica of "The Divine Bell of King Songdok the Great." (I didn't even know he had a bell.) It's a huge bell and unlike most touristy things here it's made of quality wood and metal. I like it a lot and it's definitely something she didn't need to give me. I just don't know where I'll put it. My apartment has no room in it and I don't feel comfortable keeping it at school in case students ask where I got it. I guess I'm supposed to now treat Song Jin better but that still depends on him.

Bored? Test your Vocabulary.

If you're bored and want to feel smart take this test created for teens. The only one I didn't know was phlegmatic. Now it's my goal to try and use it in a sentence here before the end of the year. Stay tuned.

Your Vocabulary Score: A-

Congratulations on your multifarious vocabulary! You must be quite an erudite person.

How's Your Vocabulary?

High School Nation

Today is the day that graduating High School Students have been dreading since their heads popped out of their mother's womb. It's test day here and as I write these kids are stressing out like never before. (Yesterday my teacher's class told me about girls puking in the bathroom while some boys sat at their desk plucking out their eyebrows and eyelashes in total frustration.)

Their future lives come down to this one day. This test affects (or is it effects?) which University they get into and here that's all that matters. Once at university it's very difficult to fail out and the good jobs tend to go to kids from the top three schools with very little regard to their actual scores. This is why there are so many cram schools and why I have a job here. Parents want and demand their kids do well on this test. Many mother's can be seen hanging outside the school all day waiting with flowers and gifts for their kids when they emerge zombie like from the school.

Because it's test day most government employees are told to come in at 10 o'clock so that the streets aren't clogged and so that students can make it to school on time. (Sleeping in never felt so good.) I even heard a rumour that flights into Gimpo airport are rescheduled to arrive after or before the listening portion of the test but I think this is an urban myth. It's a very big day. The news will carry the answers to the test later on tonight so students can figure out how they did. It's no coincidence that suicide rates also reach their peak around this time of year.

My Favorite Season

I love autumn but fall is also pretty good. The reason I love it so much is because on any given day in fall you can have any kind of weather. This morning it felt like a cool summer day before the clouds blacked out the skies and hammered the school yard with rain. Fast forward an hour and winds blew the sky clear again before bringing in the fluffy clouds that they make toilet paper with. This prompted me to bring out my camera.

The first picture is from my classroom looking out on the gardens in front of the school. The second picture shows the lunchroom next to the garden which is in a separate building we get to by walking under the green covering. (Come winter I'll be sprinting my way there.)




These third and forth pictures are what face the back side of the school and the view from my desk. This is some of the "countryside" that I am in. Further away from Seoul is where the real country side is but my paycheck gives me a hundred bucks more a month by calling this the country side so I'm not complaining. The black building in the corner are green houses that have been covered with a type of insulation and are now a pet shop.



This final picture is when I zoomed in on the locals and caught them busily farming away. They are picking Korean cabbage from the field next to their place. I'm sure later this week they will be selling it at the market down the road for next to nothing. It's during fall that Koreans (the female kind) get down to making a ton of Kimchi from this cabbage and store it for the winter. Many families have special fridges that are designed to keep the stuff at an ideal temperature.

Goodbye Beaker

Friday night was the only time I left my apartment this weekend where finding food wasn't my goal. I went to meet Shane and others for his second of three going away parties. (My friend Mena still holds the record of six going away gigs, she was from Thailand and had to leave her boyfriend Andy every time her tourist Visa expired.)

I stole these pictures from Shelly and the new website she made in his honour, An Ode to Beaker. He's off to Thailand for a few months then back to Edmonton. Shane is someone you either really love or you really hate. I think he's a great guy and love shaking my head at the stuff that comes out of his mouth. On Friday he had to let the school know if he wanted to come back in March for the new school year and it looks like he is. (That's assuming he survives Thailand).

Finally a Funny E-mail from Heidi (they're usually crap)

Just in case you weren't feeling too old today, this will certainly change things. The people who are started college this fall across the nation were born in 1987:

They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.

Their lifetime has always included AIDS.

The CD was introduced the year they were born.

They have always had an answering machine

They have always had cable.

Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.

Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.

They never heard: "Where's the Beef?", "I'd walk a mile for a Camel", or "de plane Boss, de plane".

McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers.

They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter

Called to the Principal's Office

Yesterday's time table:

7:15-8:50: I wake up, shower, shave, eat and head off to school where I read all the blogs I check out regularly. Outlook: Normal day where other people's lives are just as boring as mine.

8:50-9:10: Teach my favorite class from a book where kids just repeat dialogues. Outlook: The kids are just as bored as the last time until we apply the dialogues to a game to practice using it.

9:10-9:55: Watch an episode of Politics and read various news sites. Outlook: Americans aren't dumb after all.

9:55-10:00: Next class comes and talk to me all in Korean and want to play around. Outlook: The kids have energy so the class should go well.

10:01-10:14: We then play a review game but the kids are having a hard time keeping from talking over one another and following rules. Outlook: I'm starting to get annoyed this has been happening a lot lately and not just from this class.

10:15-10:17: I stop the game to try and teach that day's lesson but the kids revolt. They want the review game to carry on. They start foolishly telling me what to do. I snap. Outlook: I hate this class.

10:18-10:20: I tell the class to put their heads down and to keep quiet. One kids pipes up that they want the old teacher back who confessed to me he used to let the kids run wild and usually just played games. In the private academies where I used to work, these teachers get fired. Outlook: I'm wasting my time here. I quit.

10:21: I print off my resignation letter I had written a couple of weeks earlier when I began to realise this teaching job wasn't teaching and I was only staying here because of the vacations. Some of these kids are the rudest I have come across in Korea regardless of their English levels. Outlook: I've been thinking about quiting for weeks, here is the perfect excuse.

10:22-10:45: I hand in my resignation letter and tell my supervisor everything that's been troubling me. She tries to come up with ideas on how we can make this work but the best is that I should just not care about the bad kids. Outlook: Good decision.

10:46-12:50: Teach the good class again. Read about The Flames. Have fish for lunch. Outlook: Some classes are good but The Flames and fish suck.

12:50-1:10: The teacher whose class was so bad sincerely apologises for her kids and many of the wilder girls come up crying and say they are sorry. I then meet again with my supervisor and she tells me it's the area we are in (rural Korea) that make the kids so bad (isn't it supposed to be the other way around?) I've been teaching in some of the richest areas of Seoul where kids come from good families but here they are much poorer and family life for some isn't ideal. Outlook: I like rich areas and won't be swayed this is still not a teaching job.

2:55: I'm told to go to the principals office for a meeting at 3:30. Outlook: I haven't been to the Principal's office since grade 9 when I was suspended from the bus for a week. Oh-oh.

3:29: The Vice-principal comes to get me and struggles to find these words, "I'm sorry for students...bad...etiquette." Outlook: I hate confrontations.

3:30-4:00: Confrontations. All the school's teachers are sitting in a circle in the Principal's office smiling. We then listen to the principal tell everyone what has happened and why I don't enjoy school life. I make out about 1/3 of what's said. When the other foreign teacher was here the teachers had to be in the class the whole time to help him control the kids. Once I arrived the teachers saw that they didn't have to be here. They saw that I was teaching and the kids continued to have fun and learn. (I have never been called a boring teacher.) He then went on to talk about schools in America and how kids can be kicked out of schools. The teachers said they will try to make things better in class and we can decide in a couple of weeks if things are better. The principal then ends the meeting telling me I will stay for 2 more years. Outlook: What just happened?

Orange Fitness Club

The weather turned nasty this week and on Monday we had the seasons first snow. This means there were a scattering of snow flakes floating down from the sky but melting once they made contact with anything. (Imagine an odd August day in Calgary.) This has forced me to try and find a gym in the area.

I went to a couple of places near my house but they weren't so great. One was a muscle gym for the heavy lifters in tights. (Not a pretty sight). The other I'd have to walk past my house to get to and I know I'd find a reason to pop into my place before going and once there I'd skip exercising. My final choice was a gym with a very unfortunate name, Orange Fitness Club.

There is nothing healthy about the colour orange and having the body shape of an orange is exactly what I hope to avoid. For a gym to settle on this name, every other name in their dictionary must of been crossed off. It's not a translating problem either because orange is "oh-ran-gee" in Korean and means the same thing.

Inside the place it is huge (2 floors) and they provide shirts and shorts at no extra cost. This is perfect for me to stop into before heading home after work. Hopefully I can get motivated to keep going but with my work schedule the way it is there really is no reason to skip going. (But my work may change throwing the whole six month thing down the drain, but I'll write about this later when I know what's up).

Canadian Content

It's hard to add Canadian content to this blog by living here in Korea but after last night's dream I think I had an overload. Somehow Brian Mulroney, Stephen Harper and I were hanging out at some summit. We entered the room and nobody wanted to talk to Harper and instead treated Brian Mulroney as the real Prime Minister. I'm not sure what it all means but it was fun consoling a shaken Harper.

The Prestige

This is the movie poster for The Prestige or as it's called in Korean "Puh-rae-suh-tee-jee". On Sunday, Saejin and I went to the CGV theatre just down the street from my place. The theatre was the least busy one I have been to in Korea (When I lived in Suji you had to buy tickets at least four hours in advance on Sundays if you wanted to catch a flick) so I will definitely go back. I really enjoyed this movie and thought it was pretty decent all the way through. Everything looked amazing and the movie had many plot twists. Definitely a movie you should watch.

Saturday night was of course Beakers going away party and we had fun. We started off in Bliss (the bar not state) where a friend's friend was tending the bar for a friend. In short Rachel-Lynn and I got bottles of wine for just 10 dollars. After this bar everyone was supposed to meet up across town in Hongdae but it didn't happen for many of us. Beaker (not his real name but his new nickname since he arrived in Korea looking exactly like the assisting scientist/Muppet from The Muppet Show) was supposed to be the one falling first but turns out he beat everyone's predictions and made it to the end. Well done Beaker!

Friday! Friday! Friday! Friday! Friday! (You get the idea)

There is no better sound than clicking off the alarm and not resetting it on a Friday. I'm bagged this week and really shouldn't be. The only plans for the weekend are a going away party for Beaker this Saturday. Other than that I hope I never leave my apartment.

Here's a short video I found on You Tube that captures how I fell about presciption drugs.

Random Photos

Down in Suncheon before you get married, your friends get to make an ass of you in public. This guy was tied to the bumper of the car and made to run downtown with a pot on his head. Some friends were cheering from the car while another friend was whipping him with a stick if he slowed. This is done so that he'll be able to preform on the wedding night.



Here is some of the rice that seems to be permanently drying in front of the school.

I Exist

After the "hike" all the teachers and the staff at school went to one of the many restaurants cluttering the start of the trail. It was some of the best Korean food I've eaten in a long time. We had a rice/barley mixture that you mix side dishes into before topping it off with a hot bean paste. This went nicely with the pork that came out cooking on a hot plate.

The whole school joined us for dinner and when the principal came in we all had to rise, bow and greet him. There are many foreigners who really struggle with accepting that they should treat the principal with so much respect. (I'm not sure why, after all he is the boss and it's just common sense.) I have been at the school now for a couple of months and have yet to see this man smile. I heard he was a kind man but from his frozen face it's hard for me to know.

During dinner a couple of the teachers sitting across from him were talking about me. They were saying very kind things about my teaching and how the children enjoy going to English class. After diner when we were all hanging out (basically waiting for the principal to signal we could leave) he suddenly said, "Cam come go." The teachers all parted and signed I'd better follow.

I climbed into his car and waved goodbye to the others terrified at the length of the car trip to my place. After a couple of minutes of silence he told me he had been a teacher for 36 years. This started us chatting on and off in English and Korean all the way home. I have to say he is a decent guy but I'm still betting he will be a statue at school that I hardly see. (He usually stays in his office smoking cigarettes while playing on-line games or is outside in a suit and rubber boots tending to the amazing garden and pond he has built here. Being the boss has its privileges)