Turn your head and cough

This afternoon I booked an appointment at the International Clinic in Itaewon for an "Employment Physical Check". This is just one step in the marathon of paper work I need to submit to work at the public school this September. I hope I pass the test.

They're going to check my height (just on the lower side of the bell curve but I claim to be at the apex). My weight (fat in Korea but below average in Canada). Visual acuity (I wear glasses but look better wearing them so I can bomb this section as long as I don't go blind). Blood pressure test (I eat fried chicken...I'm worried). Auditory function test (I'll easily make it into the selective hearing category). Color blindness (Do people actually not know? How do they test for this? Do they ask which celebrities' outfit matches the best? I'm fucked). A Chest X-Ray (I hope they can see through all my muscles and/or hair). The blood tests count my hemoglobins, check my blood type, work out the Hep B stuff and finally give a liver function test (no boozing this weekend). The final test checks out my pee with a urinalysis (I've never peed in a cup before, whooo hoo!) All that's missing is the PAP smear test? Why can't I have one? Sometimes life can be so cruel.